Becoming a dad: An unexpected announcement leaves Tim in shock – Tim’s 1st trimester experience

Everything in Tim’s life seemed to be going along swimmingly and the last thing he expected to hear from his wife was that they were about to become parents. Blind-sided by this announcement, Tim found himself piecing together his fractured emotions while still trying to be as supportive as possible for his wife.

A hard pill to swallow

Tim is in his early thirties and is a professional musician.  His daughter is now 2 years old but he recalls the pregnancy like it was yesterday, especially the shock of finding out.

“This I found very difficult, the shock of having a baby stayed with me long into the first trimester as our daughter was unplanned,” said Tim.

“I would say that I was still in denial throughout this period. Coupled with the fact my wife was feeling very tired and grumpy from the morning sickness, this part of the pregnancy was very difficult for me to deal with.

The proverbial emotional rollercoaster

“I was pretty much emotionally unavailable for her as I was still dealing with the shock of finding out that I was now, unexpectedly, an expecting father.

“There was a battle going on in my mind while I tried to figure out if I was happy about the baby situation or not.

“I started to feel guilty because you feel like you should be extremely happy but at this point I just wasn’t sure.

“I found it hard to talk to anyone about what I was feeling because I didn’t want to be seen as the bad guy for thinking about all the options that were available.

Luckily happiness is contagious

“While this was a tough time for me it was the complete opposite for my wife.

“She was in a state of bliss; having a baby was at the top of her list and something she thought may never even happen for her, so her positivity really helped make up for me being basically numb and I think it went quite some way towards snapping me out of it.

“My wife’s happiness was infectious and I couldn’t help but start to become excited about the baby myself.

Click here to read Tim’s experiences during the 2nd trimester.

Click here to read Tim’s experiences during the 3rd trimester.

Read about other fathers to be and their experiences during the first trimester.